Episode 75: No Such Thing As Diarrhoea Drive

No Such Thing As Diarrhoea Drive is the 75th episode ofNo Such Thing As A Fish, the 23rd episode of the second year, and the 34th episode of 2015. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and was recorded at the Aces And Eights Saloon Bar in Tufnell Park, London.

Description[]

Live from The Aces and Eights Bar in Tufnell Park, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss facts suggested from the audience, including blue margarine, superstrong beetles and car-driving monkey butlers.

Facts[]

The Scrooge Effect shows that, if you make somebody think about death, they increase how charitable they are, and get more satisfaction from any donations they make. (Audience member)
If you like grilled cheese, you’ll have 32% more sex. (Audience member)
In 1567, the man with the longest beard died when he tripped over it while running from a fire. (Audience member)
In 2009, two neighbouring French mayors declared the same street to be a one-way street, but in different directions. (Twitter)
Canadian $1 coins are called “loonies”, and $2 coins are called “toonies”. (Twitter)
The Danish word for 58 is actually short for “8 and half-three twenties”. (Audience member)
Jelly Babies were originally marketed under the name “unwanted babies”. (Twitter)
The proportionate strength of a rhinoceros beetle is the same as a human man lifting nine elephants over his head. (Audience member)
In 1958, Khrushchev went to Beijing to meet Mao. Mao proposed a meeting while swimming, knowing that Khrushchev couldn’t swim. Aides provided Khrushchev with water wings, and the meeting took place with Mao swimming up and down while Khrushchev flailed about in the water wings. (Email)
The police department in Cambridge, Massachusetts requested that, when the Harvard Bridge between Cambridge and Boston was being refurbished in the 1980s, the graffiti on the bridge was maintained because it was useful in identifying where accidents happened. (Audience member)
F. Scott Fitzgerald complained to Hemmingway that his penis was too small. They then went to the bathroom, where Hemmingway proclaimed it “fine”. (Email)
As of 2013, the name Gary is less popular than the names Thor and Loki. (Audience member)
When the tooth of a Mastodon was found in North America, it was identified as the tooth of a giant. (Twitter)
Chemically, alcohol is a solution. (Audience member)
The first ICBMs placed by the USSR in East Germany could never have been used, as the soldiers drank the rocket fuel, which was made of alcohol. (Email)
Bucharest and Budapest are the 5^th-most mixed-up places in the world. (Email)

The wages in Chelsea & Fulham are so high that it’s the only constituency in the UK where the average wage is higher than the wage of their Member of Parliament. (Audience member)
Apollo 13 nearly ended in disaster before it even got to space, because of a malfunction, but a second malfunction fixed the first one. (Audience member)
If you wanted to recreate the entire Lego Movie with actual Lego, you would need 15,080,330 pieces. (Twitter)
When a dog enters a room, it knows what has happened in the last 2 hours. (Audience member)
Baby Koalas cannot digest eucalyptus when they’re first born, they have to get the gut bacteria from their mothers’ poo. (Audience member)
Ben & Jerry’s milk comes from massaged cows. (Audience member)
The motto of the Salvation Army is “Blood and Fire”. (Twitter)
Since 1945, all British tanks must come equipped with tea-making supplies. (Audience member)
Joseph Stalin wanted Russian scientists to create an ape-human hybrid, because he thought they would be better in industry and able to withstand more pain. The lead scientist was exiled to Kazakhstan for failing. (Audience member)
In 1953, NASCAR driver Tim Flock drove for 8 races with a Rhesus monkey called Jocko Flocko as his co-driver. (Twitter)
A consultant urologist at Musgrove Park Hospital in Taunton, Somerset, is called Nicholas Burns-Cox. (Twitter)
The only man to ever stick his head in the path of a particle accelerator not only lived to complete his PhD, but also has not aged since the accident. (Audience member)

Trivia[]

This is the first episode in which the facts come from audience members rather than from the Elves.
Harkin mentions the Éclaireurs de France, a group of scouts who scrubbed off prehistoric cave paintings, believing them to be graffiti. This earned them a 1992 Ig Nobel Prize in Archaeology.
- Harkin shows his use of the singular "graffito" rather than "graffiti", similar to his use of "panino".
"Scrotum Humanum" is mentioned, becoming a headline fact in Episode 131: No Such Thing As Walking the Life Jacket.
- Dan believes he should have been born in this era, given his love of dubious facts.
Russian Cosmonauts urinating on the back wheel of the bus on the way to the launch site is discussed, as mentioned in USA v Russia.
Harkin's uncle trying to change the name of Bolton to Bolton le Moors is mentioned again in Episode 229: No Such Thing As The Great Modesto.
Baby koalas eating pap is mentioned again in Episode 306: No Such Thing As Heavy Snuggle-Pupping and Episode 314: No Such Thing As A Tiny Ferris Wheel. It is also something that baby hippos do, which is brought up in Episode 275: No Such Thing As A Squashed Microbe.
Nominative determinism, such as Nicholas Burns-Cox, is mentioned again in Episode 94: No Such Thing As Sexy Mucus Pajamas.