Episode 1 is the first episode of series two of No Such Thing As The News. It features presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski and Dan Schreiber, and was filmed at Up The Creek Comedy Club, in Greenwich, London.
Facts[]
During the programme the four hosts each present their favourite fact from the week's news.
- Three days before the second US Presidential Debate, Donald Trump announced that he was doing no preparation. He announced this at a town hall event where there was a moderator, all the questions were submitted by the audience and his answers were timed to be no longer than two minutes. (Schreiber)
- Insane Clown Posse have issued a statement saying that there is no such thing as an insane clown. (Harkin)
- This week, four separate pumpkin records have been broken: the biggest outdoors pumpkin grown in the UK, the biggest ever pumpkin in the USA, the biggest ever pumpkin in the world, and the furthest someone has travelled in a boat made out of a pumpkin. (Murray)
- No-one will be allowed to wear smartwatches in Theresa May's cabinet meetings as they fear the Russians might use them to eavesdrop. (Ptaszynski)
Opening[]
At the opening of the episode, Jane Hill and Matthew Amroliwala read some obscure news stories.
- A chicken has been arrested attempting to cross a street in Dundee. Tayside police are appealing for information as to why the chicken crossed the road.
- A Massachusetts man who spent 26 years growing the largest pumpkin in North America says it weighs as much as a walrus, but probably tastes like cardboard.
- Two under-11 football teams from Guangzhou in China have been convicted of match fixing. The side that was losing 2-1 at half-time scored 24 goals in the second half, including a suspicious number of own goals.
- The headline of the week from the Wilts and Gloucestershire Standard: 79-year-old Cirencester man grows pineapple in his home against the odds.
Special Correspondence[]
These facts were sent in by audience members.
- From 9 News via Connor Hale: A Japanese artificial intelligence program, which was designed with the personality of a teenage girl, has fallen into depression. Its last post a few days ago said: "I hate everyone. I don't care if they all disappear. I want to disappear." (Harkin)
- From Adelaide Now via Eugene Boisvert: Australia's only flamingo, 74 year old Chilli, who lives at Adelaide Zoo, is turning orange after a change of diet. The zoo can no longer source enough shrimp, so he's being given a broth of pupae, mealworms, and carrots! (Ptaszynski)
- From Gemma Brown: A Nigerian public health physician has warned people that treating an eye infection by putting urine in your eyes can cause blindness. (Murray)
Extra Facts[]
At the end of the programme, the presenters each give one more fact they did not have time to discuss.
- An emergency vehicle in Sweden sent to deal with a cow killed in a collision with a car failed to reach its destination after colliding with another 37 cows. (Harkin)
- From the BBC News: An Italian Mafia boss, who was on the run from the police for 5 years, was finally caught after 50 police searched his home and found him hding in a secret compartment between his bedroom and bathroom. (Murray)
- From a Danish local newspaper: Danish medical experts have confirmed that grunting while you defecate doesn't help the process, and may even hinder it. (Ptaszynski)