Episode 8 is the eighth and final episode of series two of No Such Thing As The News, and the final episode of the programme. It features presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski and Dan Schreiber, and was filmed at Up The Creek Comedy Club, in Greenwich, London.
Facts[]
During the programme the four hosts each present their favourite fact from the week's news.
- Marita Lorenz, one of the people employed to assassinate Fidel Castro, ended up having sex with him instead. (Ptaszynski)
- This week, the safety at Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant has increased greatly thanks to the site receiving some new vacuum cleaners. (Murray)
- If Jill Stein gets her way for recounting the vote in Pennsylvania in the 2016 US Presidential Election, they are going to have to recheck votes that were made for Mickey Mouse, Wonder Woman, Harambe the Gorilla, None of the Above, We Deserve Better, and Shoot Me Now. (Harkin)
- In order to cope with the Black Friday rush, Birmingham's main shopping centre opened three hours early, but in the end the only shop with a queue was Greggs. (Schreiber)
Opening[]
At the opening of the episode, Jane Hill and Matthew Amroliwala read some obscure news stories.
- A German court has ruled that breast implants don't disqualify a woman from becoming a police officer.
- A blind goat with anxiety issues in an animal sanctuary in New Jersey has calmed down after being dressed in a duck costume.
- A sex worker in Zimbabwe has knocked out a man with a beer bottle after he offered to pay her with a boiled egg.
- The headline of the week, from the Daily Mirror: Princess Beatrice accidentally sliced open Ed Sheeran's face with a sword while pretending to knight James Blunt.
Special Correspondence[]
These facts were sent in by audience members.
- From the Manchester Evening News via Ryan Goodman: A Stockport man is being prosecuted for fraud after selling a Breitling watch on Gumtree and instead sending a banana through the post. Unfortunately for him, the man he sent it to was a policeman. (Murray)
- From the Daily Telegraph: The Vatican has refued to let the BBC film one if its letters a note from Henry VIII to Anne Boleyn, because it refers to her 'duckies', which is Tudor slang for breasts. (Ptaszynski)
- The Bosnian President and four government officials gave journalists a private official tour of the new pavement outside the Presidency building. Radio Sarajevo dubbed the pavement tour "the event of the year", and they broadcast it live on Facebook for anyone unable to attend. (Harkin)
Extra Facts[]
At the end of the programme, the presenters each give one more fact they did not have time to discuss.
- This weekend, Nico Rosberg beat Lewis Hamilton to become Formula One champion. The two have known each-other since they were kids and used to race each-other to see who could eat pizza the fastest. (Harkin)
- From the Conversation: Australian scientists have secured funding to save 14 orange-bellied parrots. They are going extinct because they are, according to the scientists, "morons". (Ptaszynski)
- From the Times: Oldham Council have asked local schoolchildren to name their new road gritting machine. Suggestions from the public so far have included Gritter Garbo, Puttin' On The Gritz, Grit Expectations, I'm a Celebrity...Grit Me Out of Here!, and Spreadie Mercury. (Murray)